GAINESVILLE, FL - As the number of men attending institutions of higher learning across the country continues to plummet, Florida is now championing teen pregnancy as a winning solution...

Chickens Demand Egg Cartons Accurately Represent Poultry Community

PETALUMA, CA - Aiming to fowl up the established pecking order in egg aisles nationwide, chickens are demanding that egg cartons...

Hot Women Craving Wild Sex Bombard Area Man’s Email

LAWRENCE, KANSAS - Brazenly inundating strange men's inboxes with blunt requests for no-strings attached trysts, hot women craving wild sex have boldly bombarded area...

5 Sure-Fire Ways to Let Loved Ones Know You’re a Literal Nazi

Being a literal Nazi these days is complicated and discussing your new ideas about racial hierarchies and why Jews and Slavs are subhuman with...

Family Devastated When Teen Son Comes Out as Straight White Male

PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN - A bombshell admission from a heterosexual, caucasian teen has left an area family devastated this week when their son Nathan...

Report: Disproportionate Number of Women Having Babies

WASHINGTON, DC - Highlighting the stark birth gap between men and women, a report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...

Trump Permanently Banned from Twitter for Abusive Use of Hyperbole

SAN FRANCISCO - Finally cracking down on offensive rhetorical devices that shamelessly violate the site's terms of service, President Trump's Twitter account has been...

Adult Industry Cheers Anti-Porn Law Banning Female Performers of Child Bearing Age

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY - Horrified that their industry is little more than a conveyor belt of fertile young women having sex on camera with...

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Feminists Push Bill Excluding Hot Guys from Sexual Harassment Laws

Ordinarily known for being man-hating femsplainers, feminists are finally showing some love for men, at least the hot ones.

Family Devastated When Teen Son Comes Out as Straight White Male

PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN - A bombshell admission from a heterosexual, caucasian teen has left an area family devastated this week when their son Nathan...

Pornhub Disables Commenting After Rash Of Respectful Comments Surface

MONTREAL - Having a zero tolerance policy on positive and empowering language about women, Pornhub was forced to disable commenting after a rash of...

Miss America Replaces Swimsuit Competition with Homemaking Competition

ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - Taking a boldly traditional approach to beauty pageants, Miss America is replacing its outdated swimsuit competition with an innovative homemaking...

Newlyweds Excitedly Planning Divorce

PITTSBURGH, PA - Anxiously anticipating the next big step in their relationship, area newlyweds Frank and Hailey Booth are excitedly planning for their divorce, sources...

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